See Through

Earlier in the semester I had the idea of blogging about my summer.  It’s been a really hard semester.  And I feel like the Lord has so much to teach me.  He’s preparing me for something, and I wanted to document the changes.  It’s a little personal, but I feel like I want to share this with people.  I want to be See Through with you guys.  That being said, I was GOING to edit my videos before I put them up here, but I feel like watching the mistakes will be more see through and more humorous.  Here it is…

Every time I have one of these overly dramatic meltdowns or whatever it is you want to call them, I feel like I’m about to embark on some kind of journey.  ”Wake up, Lindsey Beth.  You’re on your journey!”  What’s the next step?  How are you going to start living today?  Living life with Christ is the best journey ever.  It IS an adventure.  It’s a day by day thing… “LORD let me decide to lean on you at the beginning of each day.  Give me your perspective of the world around me and of me.  Teach me to serve and not be selfish.”  This is my prayer. 

At the risk of sounding completely selfish: UGH!!! I just want to SCREAM.  I just want to LIVE!!!!  Am I being contradictory… I don’t know how all these feelings fit with Christ.  I just get so confused.  I don’t want to get lost in just going with the flow until things just get figured out.  Because things don’t just get figured out.. obviously or all my blog posts wouldn’t be the same.  I yearn for change.  But what needs to change?  Obviously I haven’t gotten it right just yet… There’s so much more I wanted to say… but it’s slipped my mind… 

I blog when I feel out of control.  I blog when I have thought so much that I can’t think any more.  Today, instead of just sitting down and starting to write, I reread my past blogs.  Now, I’m trying not to be disruptive in the library by laughing out loud.  All my blog posts say the SAME thing.  I deal with the same stuff over and over again.  Isn’t that insanity by definition??  

So instead of being long-winded and writing about this again… I’ll say DITTO to all my pasts blogs…

Here’s to actually giving this to the Lord–which I’m sure I’ll have to do again tomorrow. 

I’m so glad that I’ve found music that I’m absolutely in love with.  I like most of what I hear… but this Dave Barnes/Ben Rector/Katie Herzig stuff… blissful! :)  And I’m so glad it’s fall-this music just goes!! :)

There have been quite a few rough days lately.  I’ve been putting myself down a lot which I’ve come to the conclusion that that just makes things worse.  I’ve been questioning everything.  I’ve been wondering what the crap is going on around me.  But you know what, I always come to the same conclusion.  God is good.  Life IS good.  There are many many silly, dumb, unwanted games that you have to play in society, but in it all there are people.  And I love people.  We are all so different.  It’s hard to get along sometimes, and sometimes you just can’t wrap your mind around how other people think and around the decisions that they make.  But people are awesome!  We all have our own stories, and I love to hear everyones.  I believe, deep down, everyone has the desire to know the people around them.  It’s not weird to talk to strangers.  I think it’s completely natural.  I think people have been trapped in a society where it’s been said that it’s weird.  But I think that most people think it’s nice.  I mean there are always exceptions.  

In a nutshell.. I love people.